Wednesday, 29 October 2008

The herbal cigarette


What is it with the Sydney theatre scene and herbal cigarettes? Every time an actor walks out on stage, pulls a pack of durries from their pocket and lights up, I count the seconds until I can smell that nimby pimby smell of ginseng, red clover and apple.

The striking contrast between the hideous odour of the herbal cigarette with what is usually a bit of a grungy or darker scene is totally absurd. Can you imagine Humphrey Bogart sucking down a bit of ginseng while luring Ingrid Bergman? Or Paul Henreid offering a bit of rose-hip to Bette Davis?

Before I face the wrath of all the anti-smokers in the world, let's make one thing very clear; Herbal cigarettes are not safe to smoke. Some brands, particularly those made in China, contain tobacco and have high levels of tar and nicotine. The smoke from brands that have no tobacco or nicotine still deliver similar levels of tar and carbon monoxide to those in tobacco cigarettes. Therefore herbal cigarettes are potentially harmful to health.

Thankyou Quit Victoria.

If an actor needs to have a cigarette on stage for whatever reason, can't you please just pull out a cigarette. Because puffing away on those grass stain variety of cigarettes is one of the most distracting things you can do on stage. No one in their right mind would smoke a herbal cigarette, so why is your character doing it? Is your character a vegan as well?

We must, for once and for all, please stop this vicious politically correct hangover. Just a few weeks ago I was in a theatre in Europe, the actors pulled out some fags and there I was, totally distracted and intently waiting for the smell of petuli to discover - you would never believe it - the smell of tobacco! The relief I experienced was indescribable.

Not only that, we are now forcing our hypocritical and ridiculous standards on visiting theatre groups. "It's OH&S darlings". For goodness sake. 

Of course, and the Arts Alliance will hopefully support me, if an actor does not want to face a cigarette night after night for their health, just don't smoke on stage. Just don't do it. Spare yourself, spare us and spare your colleagues.

But if it is absolutely necessary for someone to stroll on and light up, can you just stick with tobacco. The rosehip is really getting far too much and it looks (and smells) totally ridiculous.

13 comments:

kerrig said...

For too long have I thought I was alone in my contept for these stupid herbal cigarettes, as I would cover my nose with a scarf, program, neighbours coat (yes really it happened once!) or whatever was in reach as I desperately tried to protect myself from the horrible cloud of smoke that would rappidly approach my seat.

Herbal cigarettes far out stink the regular variety and when an actor uses them in the theatre they completely break any illusion of reality that we as audience members might be having.

get rid of them please!!!

Anonymous said...

Absolutely! Passive herbal smoking is possibly more irritating. But I guess we cant really smoke inside, so whats to be done?

Anonymous said...

We actually can really smoke inside - worse things with flames have been done in the theatre..
As long as there's a tiny bit of water in an ashtray somewhere, and precautions offstage then you can light up whatever the hell you want!
As a non-smoker, i say.. bring on the tobacco! The herbs smell 100 times worse! And as Saj mentioned, potentially just as harmful.

Anonymous said...

And while we're about it, let's ditch the red cordial for wine and ice tea for whisky.

JB

Nicholas Pickard said...

Indeed... suspension of disbelief and all that... but still red cordial will never look like wine and ice tea will never look like whisky.

To be honest, the whole eating, drinking, smoking thing on stage never ever really works. You end up watching them pour it, you wonder what it is, you lose your train of thought.

Lets get rid of the whole lot of it. Unless it has a particular purpose like the Mr Creosote Monty Python eating explosion scene then bring it on. Otherwise, no more.

Maybe directors need to start getting a bit more creative.

Anonymous said...

As an actor I am in complete agreeance! I had to smoke a herbal for a film I was in because at the time I was 17 and I think I ended up feeling more ill than when I hang around my chain smoking friends.

That said - for actors having to smoke real cigarettes on stage; hasn't anyone heard of "bum puffing" where you only take the smoke into your mouth - with a little practice no one will be any the wiser...

Caroline M

Anonymous said...

The problem is horrid, horrid, horrid self-preserving audience members (and actors) who want to live til they're 150. Everyone's gone soft.

Anonymous said...

They are soft. Ever heard of someone dying from attending so much theatre that they kicked the bucket from an actor smoking?

It would certainly make an interesting head stone.

Anonymous said...
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Nicholas Pickard said...

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Anonymous said...

It's the law it seems. I am about to do a play in Melbourne based on real people who were all heavy smokers and we have been told the theatre is forbidden from allowing tobacco to be smoked on the stage and could be sued if they did. Rather than smoke those ridiculous Bali herbal things we've just decided, regretfully, to cut the smoking.

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Herbal cigarettes are popular in Indonesia with no known advantage over nicotine and are probably as dangerous. They were once popular in asthma treatment with some success but the fumes can be irritating
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Angelinjones
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